The great obfuscation: those sneaky sulfates. Let's talk Sodium Coco-Sulfate.

I welcome you to a new series in my hair blogging/crime solving franchise: the great obfuscation.
This segment is brought to you by the West Flanders Brewery in Boulder, Colorado. They are responsible for expanding my vocabulary, as well as getting me tipsy. On we go.

To obfuscate is to intentionally blur the truth. From the free online dictionary:
ob·fus·cate
1. To make so confused or opaque as to be difficult to perceive or understand: "A great effort was made . . . to obscure or obfuscate the truth" (Robert Conquest).
2. To render indistinct or dim; darken: The fog obfuscated the shore.

I recently purchased an "Affirmation to root vegetables" product (shampoo) that claimed to be sulfate free. Very foamy. Very harsh. Very sulfate-y. When I googled Sodium Coco Sulfate, the primary surfactant, here is the first displayed result, from the Honest Company. Dare I say it, but I feel as though they might consider a rebranding. I'm no good at marketing, but a few names come to mind: the Not Exactly Lying Company? the Sort Of Glazing Over The Truth Company?

Read on to see what surfactant they're using!

Living Proof: a timeline (it's hair, not Liz Phair)

A little background: I realize how odd the title must sound. I am a huge Liz Phair fan, circa Exile in Guyville and Whipsmart. I liked her EPs during the era, and I even liked Whitechocolatespaceegg. After that, I can't defend her.

I was a huge fan of Living Proof when the brand debuted in 2007.

Read on for my (sort of internet research based, but certainly not 100% correct) timeline!

Bad Hair Day: SVU. Episode 1: Hard Water

If haircare was like crime solving, those of us with curly hair would definitely belong in the special victims' unit.

dun dun! (mallet noise)

I am a problem solver. If something is wrong, and I don't know why, I can not just accept it and move on. I need to know what the cause of the problem is and how I can fix it. Because everything is fixable, right?
Maybe.

So, with a little help from the scientific method, and various hair care boards, I bring you my (flexible and adjustable) bad hair day solutions:

Do you ever feel like your hair has been looking bad for a few weeks, even though you haven't changed your routine at all, and the weather hasn't changed drastically? I do. Here are some various symptoms, and my solutions. Please be aware, this is just for my 3c, fine, thin, henna'ed and bkt'ed hair!

Newest problem first!

1. Dull, limp, dirty (but not greasy) looking hair with brittle, breaking ends:

Living Proof PHD review: Murphy Brown Lied to Us

I'm quoting Tina Fey (or Liz Lemon), "Murphy Brown lied to us." Murphy Brown made Liz Lemon believe she could have it all: a career and kids.

Living Proof lied to us. Living Proof said we could have it all (or at least 7 miracle hair benefits and a product that sounds like an advanced academic degree).

Do I smell a copycat? Haircare brand It's a 10 must be angry that its puffery is being so seamlessly mimicked. Pureology Color Fanatic: you're just kind of lame and late to the party. Bigger is not better: "21 benefits" just sounds like it was invented by a wish granting hair genie. I digress.

Living Proof has recently unveiled its newest, greatest, hair saving miracle, that does.....something.

What does it do?

According to Living Proof (via Sephora):

Living Proof's Perfect Hair Day (PHD) 5-in-1 Styling Treatment is powered by our award winning, patented molecules, OFPMA & PBAE, to provide the 5 styling & treatment benefits you need for beautiful, healthy hair in one simple step—smoothness, volume, conditioning, strength & polish. 

What it does: 
Provides a genius balance of styling & treatment benefits 
Provides 5 benefits needed for beautiful, healthy hair: 
- Smoothness 
- Volume 
- Conditioning 
- Strength 
- Polish 
- Heat Protection 
- UV Protection 
- Static Control 
Oil-free & silicone-free.

Read on for my review!

Product Review: Kinky Curly Curling Custard aka KCCC

Here's what Kinky Curly has to say:

"Kinky-Curly custard gel is a herbal conditioner that's suitable for all hair types. It smoothes the cuticle and easily detangles hair. Made from natural ingredients, this moisturizing hair gel nourishes and strengthens hair. It's infused with agave nectar's humectant properties to define your curls, give them weight, smooth frizz and offer long-lasting hold. The gel also adds a healthy shine without making your hair look greasy. This alcohol-free hair gel can be used as a leave-on conditioner for thick or curly hair. It's free of parabens and sodium lauryl sulfate."

Ingredients: 

botanical infusion of water, horsetail, chamomile, nettle and marshmallow, organic aloe vera juice, agave nectar extract, tocopheryl acetate (vitamin e), pectic, citric acid, potassium sorbate and natural fragrance

Read on for my review!

Humectant /hjuːˈmɛktənt/ - how to sound smart at parties, part II

This is an older post that relates to a later post about glycerin.

from wikipedia:
A humectant is a substance that is used to keep things moist. It is the opposite of a desiccant, whose purpose is to keep things dry.

A humectant attracts and retains the moisture in the air by absorption, allowing the water to be used by other substances or by plants. It differs from a desiccant which also attracts moisture but adsorbs it instead of absorbing it i.e. condenses the water onto the surface as a layer of film.

When used as a food additive, the humectant has the effect of keeping the foodstuff moist. Humectants are sometimes used as a component of antistatic coatings for plastics. Humectants are also found in many cosmetic products where moisturization is desired, including treatments such as moisturizing hair conditioners and also commonly used in body lotions.

Examples of humectants include:
propylene glycol (E1520) as well as hexylene glycol and butylene glycol
glyceryl triacetate (E1518)
vinyl alcohol
neoagarobiose
sugar polyols such as glycerol, sorbitol (E420), xylitol and maltitol (E965)
polymeric polyols like polydextrose (E1200)
quillaia (E999)
lactic acid
urea
glycerin
aloe vera gel
MP Diol
alpha hydroxy acids
honey


Remember how I hinted at adsorption and absorption before? I will address everything in part three, I promise!