The great obfuscation: those sneaky sulfates. Let's talk Sodium Coco-Sulfate.

I welcome you to a new series in my hair blogging/crime solving franchise: the great obfuscation.
This segment is brought to you by the West Flanders Brewery in Boulder, Colorado. They are responsible for expanding my vocabulary, as well as getting me tipsy. On we go.

To obfuscate is to intentionally blur the truth. From the free online dictionary:
ob·fus·cate
1. To make so confused or opaque as to be difficult to perceive or understand: "A great effort was made . . . to obscure or obfuscate the truth" (Robert Conquest).
2. To render indistinct or dim; darken: The fog obfuscated the shore.

I recently purchased an "Affirmation to root vegetables" product (shampoo) that claimed to be sulfate free. Very foamy. Very harsh. Very sulfate-y. When I googled Sodium Coco Sulfate, the primary surfactant, here is the first displayed result, from the Honest Company. Dare I say it, but I feel as though they might consider a rebranding. I'm no good at marketing, but a few names come to mind: the Not Exactly Lying Company? the Sort Of Glazing Over The Truth Company?

Read on to see what surfactant they're using!

I digress. I continued googling, and found something I believe I had read before.
So, why paraphrase?
When in doubt, plagiarize. Via the lovely Chemical of the day:

"Q. What is sodium coco sulfate?

-Charlotte via Facebook

A. Sodium coco sulfate is pretty similar to sodium lauryl sulfate. Basically, with sodium lauryl sulfate, they start out with an isolated fatty acid (from coconut or other oils) called lauric acid. The lauric acid is reacted with sulfuric acid, and then again with sodium carbonate to create sodium lauryl sulfate. Well, with sodium coco sulfate, instead of starting out with one fatty acid (lauric acid) they use a blend of fatty acids from the coconut oil, react them with sulfuric acid, then sodium carbonate, to create sodium coco sulfate. So, sodium coco sulfate actually is a blend of sodium lauryl sulfate, sodium caprylic sulfate, sodium capric sulfate, sodium oleic sulfate, sodium stearyl sulfate etc, and instead of naming them all out with all of the fatty acids from the coconut oil, they just call it sodium coco sulfate." It would carry the same risks of skin irritation, eye irritation, stripping hair of natural oils and forming nitrosamines in the presence of triethanolamine as SLS does."

Let it be known that I purchased said product based on its claim that it "soothes dry and irritated scalps." I should have known. Cue Aimee Mann.

Aimee Mann - I SHOULD'VE KNOWN Video